Why We Find It Hard To Say “No”

You want to help. You are a kind soul at heart. You don’t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into your time.
Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying “No”, especially to people who are more senior, is rude. This thinking is common in Asia culture, where face-saving is important. Face-saving means not making others look bad (a.k.a losing face).
Wanting to be agreeable. You don’t want to alienate yourself from the group because you’re not in agreement. So you confirm to others’ requests.
Fear of conflict. You are afraid the person might be angry if you reject him/her. This might lead to an ugly confrontation. Even if there isn’t, there might be dissent created which might lead to negative consequences in the future.
Fear of lost opportunities. Perhaps you are worried saying no means closing doors. For example, one of my clients’ wife was asked to transfer to another department in her company. Since she liked her team, she didn’t want to shift. However, she didn’t want to say no as she felt it would affect her promotion opportunities in the future.
Not burning bridges. Some people take “no” as a sign of rejection. It might lead to bridges being burned and relationships severed.

refrence- http://personalexcellence.co/newsletter/

Have to Say “No” to Your Customers? Three Ways to Make It Easier

1) Watch your timing and tone. There are times when you have to say “no.” However, an immediate or dismissive “no” can anger even the kindest customers. Even when you know in your bones that a “no” is the only answer, pause to reflect on the desires of your customers. It helps to put wishes into words, “I wish we could sell you our demo model. Since the display isn’t for sale, here’s what we can do for you…” Notice the “no” was clear without even using the word. Offer a brief explanation and shift the client’s focus away from rejection and toward the solution.

You can get the timing right, but if your tone conveys anything other than care, concern, and connection, even the most beautifully crafted “no” response will turn sour. You probably know a smart, competent professional who falls short because of a tone of voice that conveys: disinterest, defensiveness, distain, shame/blame, annoyance, or an air of superiority. Your thoughts shows up in your tone of voice. When you let go of judgments and let it be okay for a customer to ask for anything, your “no” will naturally have a tone that engages cooperation instead of conflict.

2.) Focus on alternatives. There are four major stressors that bring out the worst in customers – experiencing a loss of control, being rejected, conflict, and being seen as wrong. A “no” can hit on all four of those stressors. An easy way to eliminate that stress is to offer your customer a choice from a select list of alternatives. Pressures rise when you say, “No you can’t have a Sunday appointment.” Instead, redirect their attention to workable alternatives, “Since we’re closed on Sundays, would you prefer a Saturday or a weekday appointment?”

3.) Use “no” to build trust. If saying “no” to customers makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone.

Here are a few examples of saying “no” in a way that builds trust with customers:

Remember the movie “Miracle on 42^nd Street?” The Macy’s Santa sent parents to Gimbel’s when the price or product was a better option. The result – which may have also happened in real life – was that Macy’s business increased and customer loyalty skyrocketed. Customers will gain trust in you when you show that you have their best interests at heart.

another example: “I know that you want this job done by next week, and we currently only have the manpower to complete the job within 15 days. We can look at other options, or I can recommend one of our partners (always a trusted competitor of yours) for this particular job.”

And another:“I wish I could waive library fines for you, and all our patrons. The reason we don’t waive fines is (offer explanation)… And it may help to know your fines will be used to help grow our book collection.”

reference-http://whosyourgladys.com/blog

7 Ways to Tell Your Customer No

As much as you'd like to, you can't always give a customer what they want. Here's how to let them down gently.

Here are seven things to keep in mind for those times when you can't give your customer what they want, and have to let them down gently:

1. Empathize with the customer’s situation. You may not be able to deliver the outcome they’re looking for, but you can still help them feel like they’ve had every right to ask for it. For example, if your customer was counting on a quick order fulfillment for a product that is now out of stock, you might say, “I know that you were counting on us to have our best-selling stress balls available for your annual conference. I’m sure this puts you in a bind.”

2. Validate the customer’s emotions while reiterating your intention to help. A dissatisfied customer can be like a steam pipe—ready to explode unless you give them an outlet to release the pressure. You don’t have to be their therapist (“what does my saying ‘no’ bring up for you?”) nor do you have to be their whipping boy (“Keep yelling, I can take it.”) You can simply say, “You’re disappointed [or insert other emotion], and I’m going to do my best to help you.”

3. Focus on the primacy of the customer and the relationship. When I am put on hold with an airline, the phone company, or my cable service and I hear, “Your business is very important to us,” I am reminded that I am nothing more than a revenue source. Tell your customers outright that they personally are important to you, and that you will do whatever is in your power to do to satisfy them—not just retain the business.

4. Treat every “no” like the first “no” of the day. You may have had to reject 37 customer requests by lunch. I’m sorry to hear that, but that’s not this customer’s problem. Each customer deserves to have his or her case regarded as the most important issue at the moment. Make sure that your 38^th customer of the day gets the same level of attention, willingness and problem-solving focus that your first one does.

5. Offer your best alternative first. Several years ago, my husband and young twins arrived at a chain hotel around 1:00 a.m. As our children conked out on the lobby’s couches, the desk clerk managed to lock himself out of his computer, and then couldn’t get anyone on the phone to help him retrieve his password. An hour later, he grumbled, “Let me just give you a different room for tonight, and we can deal with this tomorrow.” This alternative should have been offered by 1:10 a.m., not 2:00 a.m. You want to offer your clients the best possible option as quickly as you can. Make sure you empower your employees with this ability, as you want to avoid customer frustration at all costs.

6. Get curious. Chances are, you’re a born problem solver, which means that your default is “action” over “question.” If you and your customer are both stuck, start to ask more questions before you offer more suggestions. Start with “What else would be important for me to know right now in order for me to best help you?” and be open to what you learn. And as Walt Whitman reminds us, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

7. Ask for feedback. Opening yourself up to critique from a frustrated customer might seem masochistic, but it’s really the best way to get better at serving your clientele. You don’t have to invite an attack on your character, but by simply asking, “What could we do better next time?” you let your customer know that you care about them, about the relationship and about continuous improvement.

Saying no doesn’t have to mean the loss of a customer. In fact, telling a customer no with great care, clarity and consideration can save face for everyone involved.

Four Ways to Say NO to a Customer

1. If you are talking to somebody who is fairly direct and concise, you are talking to a “controller” (or “driver”). This person is very practical and results-oriented and responds best to a rational NO.

What to do: Give them a clear explanation of why you can’t negotiate on any given item; use rational persuasion through logic and data, and, whenever possible, give them the specifics of an alternative solution.

2. If you are talking to a customer who thinks out loud, likes to hypothesize, and looks for problem root causes, you are talking to a “thinker” (or “analytic”). This person is very process- and detail-oriented; they like to consider all possible alternatives before making a decision. Therefore, an alternative NO works best with them.

What to do: Give them several options, outline the pros and cons of each but be clear on your negotiable and non-negotiables. Having all information at hand will help them decide on the next move.

3. If your customer initiates small talk and shares personal facts (e.g., where they went on vacation, their dog’s name, or how they like their coffee), you are likely talking to an entertainer (or “expressive”). This person enjoys human interaction and responds best to an innovative NO.

What to do: Engage them in a thought process, hypothesize some creative solutions with them, challenge them, and push them to think outside the box.

4. Finally, if a customer is very diplomatic, patient, and lets you finish your thought, you are likely talking to a feeler (or “amiable”). This type is generally known as a people’s person; they are driven by emotions, hence, a considerate NO works best with them.

What to do: Try to give them a couple of examples or actual stories of why their proposal wouldn’t work, how it would affect different stakeholders, or what the long-term implications could be. In other words, tell them a relatable story.

http://www.executiveboard.com/sales-blog/

Saying No: How to Deliver Bad News to a Customer

As service providers, we sometimes find ourselves in the position of being the bearers of bad news to our customers. Often, news is bad only if the customer perceives that he or she has no control over it. Sometimes, what you consider neutral news may surprise you and be bad news for a customer, again because of a perception of no or little control on the customer’s part. And let’s face it, there may be times that the way you phrase your communication turns the message into bad news for the customer. It’s important to understand what bad news is from a customer’s perspective, and what we can do to influence the perception of what is bad news vs. what is good news.

Let’s start by anticipating what might be perceived as bad news from a customer’s perspective. Then, we are able to rehearse our communication skills to prevent a problem situation. Here are some instances of having to deliver bad news:

The customer has experienced a known error in the software, and it won’t be fixed until the next update of the software package – due out next year.
The customer has experienced a known error in the software or your configuration of it and because there is a work-around available, the programmers have no plans to fix it.
The customer’s shipment is delayed. Again.
The feature that the customer is seeking is not available in the software.

Fortunately, there are ways to communicate news in a way that a customer can see it as good news, or at least see that they have choices. Generally, honesty is the best policy, but you must think through how you are going to present the honest truth that will make it easier to swallow.

Here are some guidelines for communicating information with your customer:

Bad news early is good news.

The sooner you can communicate what might be bad news to a customer, the more control the customer has over the outcome. Therefore, procrastination is not advisable in delivering bad news. For example, if you tell a customer in November that a certain tax feature is not going to be in the software, they can make plans in time to work around the problem and still submit their tax return on April 15.

Confirm your understanding of the problem and identify the underlying need

If a customer is asking for something that you think is going to be a problem, the last thing you want to do is jump in with an explanation without confirming their issue. “Before I address your concern, let me make sure I understand exactly what you are saying, Mrs. Jones. I’m hearing that the software doesn’t print the report correctly when you do this… Is that correct?”

Ask probing questions to get to the heart of the customer’s need. Be sure you understand any deadlines involved, who might be pressuring them about this situation, or if they perceive a threat due to the issue.

Choose neutral words

There are certain trigger words that are almost certain to anger a customer. Trigger words are those phrases that turn calm customers into raving maniacs. And having an angry, fightin’ customer on your hands is no fun for you, besides reflecting poorly on your company.

Here is a list of trigger words, with their preferred alternatives:

Trigger Words (to avoid):	Collaborative words (more effective):
“You should”	“We can do this together”
“You can’t”	“One alternative for you could be…”
“I can’t”	“What I can do is”
“No”	“I’m sorry, that is not possible, because…”
“If only”	“Let me show you what to do in the future…”
“But”	“And”
“Bug” or “glitch”	“issue” or “situation”
“That’s our policy”	“In order to provide you with great service…” (see below)

In fact, any declarative sentence starting with “You” when talking to a customer is best avoided – it comes across as shaking your finger at the customer, and no one wants to feel like we’re talking to our mother! Better choices are “We can” or “Let’s do this together” or “What I could suggest is”.

Additionally, the calmer you can deliver the news, the calmer it will be received. Use your most confident but soothing tone of voice, and deliver the news in a moderated pace – that is, don’t speak too fast in order to get the news out quickly! The customer will sense your assurance and will react positively to it.

Provide background

Give the history of the request, and briefly explain the process that you use to make decisions on this type of issue. You could say something like, “Our programmers have a very tight schedule and so we must prioritize the changes that they make. The Change Advisory Board, which is composed of members of both IT and the business units, meets weekly to prioritize Request for Changes. If the Change Request affects only a few users and there is a reasonable work-around available, it’s likely that the request will be deferred to another time.”

Explain first what you can do and then explain the policy

It is never advisable to start with what you cannot do for a customer. This puts the customer on the defensive and creates an antagonist environment. Instead, tell the customer first what you can do for them and offer options. For example, “I’d like to walk you through the process of logging your request for change over our internet site. Alternatively, you can speak to your business representative yourself.” Or, “What I can do for you is either create a parts order for you right now on the phone or send you to the website where you can purchase that part yourself.”

Follow up immediately with an explanation of the policy you are invoking, but explain it in a way that shows the customer the WIIFM – What’s In It For Me – principal. All policies were made at one point with some logic in mind, so seek out that information first. Then find a way to explain the policy with the customer’s best interest in mind. Using the phrase “That’s our policy” is never advisable.

Here are some alternative phrases to “That’s our policy” that use the WIIFM principal:

“In order to be fair to all our customers and provide consistent service, we need to prorate your original fee after the 90 day window is passed.”

“In order to help you comply with Sarbanes-Oxley act, we …”

“So we can continue to provide you with the lowest cost products with the highest quality, we need to…”

“Because we always want to provide the highest quality service to you, we can do this…”

If applicable, offer resources or work-arounds and present them in a positive light

If you know of a work-around, offer to explain that to the customer in a positive manner. For example, “The good news is that we have identified a work around for those few customers that might experience this problem. Can I walk you through that?”

You may offer to be the customer’s advocate back to the company on their issue. For example, “Would you like me to record your thoughts on this issue? Periodically, we compile those requests and present them to the Change Advisory Board. Additionally, you can approach your Advisory Board representative, who is __________.” Obviously, you will look up their business unit representative and give them that person’s contact information.

Wait for a response, using your best listening skills

This is a good time to employ your best active listening skills by focusing on what the customer is saying, taking notes, and paraphrasing their concerns to confirm your understanding of what they are saying.

Correct any misunderstandings

If there have been any misunderstandings, correct them, using the neutral words you learned above. Remember to phrase them in the most positive light.

If the customer gets angry, you’ll need to employ your LEAF Plus One skills (see our article on “How to Handle an Angry Customer”).

Make a follow-up plan, if needed

Take care of yourself

Delivering bad news can be stressful. Take time to care for yourself if needed. Take a break and walk around the building. Take several deep breaths and stretch. Congratulate yourself for handling a tricky situation like the true professional you are!

To most effectively employ these techniques, you and your team might like to anticipate instances in which you have to deliver bad news to your customers. Assign a small group of analysts to list possible sticky situations, brainstorm their best responses to them using the guidelines, above, and document their results. Ask them to create scenarios, skits or role-plays to present to the entire team. Make practicing these situations a fun game for the group. The more you can practice these techniques before you need them, the easier it will be to invoke them when the heat is on!

reference-kr consulting

Let Them Down Easy: 4 Ways to (Nicely) Say No

Let Them Know You Wish You Could Help

Saying no can be softened by simply prefacing it with your desire to help—it’s always easier to hear bad or disappointing news when it’s couched in good intentions.

Say: “Thanks for thinking of me for this opportunity. I really wish I was in a position to take advantage of it because your organization and mission sound terrific. However, I’ve recently decided to focus on cultivating more speaking opportunities, so I’m limiting my writing commitments. If only there were more hours in the week!”

Use the ol’ “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Line

While Seinfeld didn’t give this line the best reputation, it’s actually a great thing to communicate—even if you can’t say yes, the last thing you want is for the other person to feel badly for asking. So, make it clear that you can’t fulfill the request because of your own limitations, not on account of what’s being asked. (It’s also not a bad idea to validate the request with a compliment!)

Say: “What a great idea to look for a promotional partner for your upcoming product launch! Unfortunately, I don’t think my company is the best fit—we have a policy that we can only promote our members’ services. I’m sure that there are other communities, however, that would jump at the opportunity.”

Tell It Like It Is

Sometimes, it helps to provide the person with a simple explanation about why you’re saying no, particularly if the information can help her out. You can offset feeling bad about saying no by feeling good about preventing her from learning a lesson the hard way.

Say: “Your event sounds wonderful and I’m happy to help promote it. However, I’m not able to sponsor it—in my experience, that kind of arrangement hasn’t worked as well as I would have wanted. I’ve found that guests often are confused or distracted by too many messages. I want your guests to be focused on your and your event—not my company!”

Offer Another Resource

One of the most helpful things you can do when saying no is giving the other person advice on where they should turn next. Whether it’s a specific person or place, or just an idea about what you would do if you were in her shoes, it helps her out by letting her know how to move forward.

Say: “Thanks for contacting me. Unfortunately, I’m not able to help, as I no longer do this kind of work. However, I can’t recommend my colleague Jane Doe highly enough. I’ve sent many people her way over the years, and they’ve all loved working with her.”

7 Simple Ways To Say “No”

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”

If you are too busy to engage in the request/offer, this will be applicable. This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as future requests. If it makes it easier, you can also share what you’re working on so the person can understand better. I use this when I have too many commitments to attend to.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”

It’s common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something. Sometimes I get phone calls from friends or associates when I’m in a meeting or doing important work. This method is a great way to (temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it’s not a good time as you are doing something. Secondly, you make known your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …”

I often use this as it’s a gentle way of breaking no to the other party. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there’s nothing wrong about it. I often get collaboration proposals from fellow bloggers and business associates which I can’t participate in and I use this method to gently say no. Their ideas are absolutely great, but I can’t take part due to other reasons such as prior commitments (#1) or different needs (#5).

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.”

This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this. Sometimes I’m pitched a great idea which meets my needs, but I want to hold off on committing as I want some time to think first. There are times when new considerations pop in and I want to be certain of the decision before committing myself. If the person is sincere about the request, he/she will be more than happy to wait a short while. Specify a date / time-range (say, in 1-2 weeks) where the person can expect a reply.

If you’re not interested in what the person has to offer at all, don’t lead him/her on. Use methods #5, #6 or #7 which are definitive.

5. “This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”

If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn’t what you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn’t meet your needs. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on longer than it should. It helps as the person know it’s nothing wrong about what he/she is offering, but that you are looking for something else. At the same time, by saying you’ll keep him/her in mind, it signals you are open to future opportunities.

6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”

If you are being asked for help in something which you (i) can’t contribute much to (ii) don’t have resources to help, let it be known they are looking at the wrong person. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on – whether it’s someone you know, someone who might know someone else, or even a department. I always make it a point to offer an alternate contact so the person doesn’t end up in a dead end. This way you help steer the person in the right place.

7. “No, I can’t.”

The simplest and most direct way to say no. We build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. As I shared earlier in this article, these barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright. You’ll be surprised when the reception isn’t half as bad as what you imagined it to be.

refrence-http://personalexcellence.co/newsletter/

Some of the biggest challenges in trying to deliver World-Class customer service are those times when you really have to say "no" to a customer's request. Sometimes it's because of a policy in place. Sometimes they're looking for something you just don't have. And, of course, sometimes what they are asking of you is just plain unreasonable.

It's tough, because the whole concept of saying no seems counterintuitive to the philosophy of doing whatever it takes to satisfy your customer. But the reality is that we simply can't always give everyone what they want. So the question becomes, how do you say no in such a way that minimizes the potential for conflict?

There's no perfect way, of course. But here's one strategy that works very consistently.

1. Express regret. Say something like, 'I really wish I could' or 'I'd like to'.

2. Explain the reasons why you can't accommodate their request. (Avoid the words 'policy' and 'process')

3. Look for alternatives. Say something like 'let's see what we can do.'

This strategy lets the customer know that, while you might not be able to give them what they want, you're willing to work with them to try and get them what they need. Make sure to ask your customers a lot of questions so you know the real purpose behind their request. The better you understand where they're coming from, the easier it will be for you to find a workable solution.

For more articles on dealing with difficult customers, visit: http://www.beldingskills.com/winning-at-work.htm

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaun_Belding

Envision the scenario: You've just been asked at the last minute by Chris, the organizer of your local networking group, to replace the scheduled speaker at next month's meeting. You already have too many commitments on your plate. Imagine your response:

You: "Well, I don't think I'd have enough time to prepare. I'm awfully sorry. I wish I could help you!."

Chris: "Your last speech was super'maybe you could just talk some more about that topic? I,d really appreciate it!" You: "I'm glad you liked it--maybe I could do it"

Chris: "Oh that would be great! Just let me know the title"

How might you feel about doing this speech? You might feel stressed or resentful. You might not be at your best when you do the speech. Other work that you'd really like to be doing might suffer.

Now imagine a different response:

You: "No, I can't be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone." Alex speaks on a variety of topics and I think she could fill in for you. I'll give you her number."

Chris: "Thanks! That will really help."

This is a win-win-win: Alex gets an opportunity to speak (her specialty), Chris gets a speaker, and you aren't saddled with a commitment you don,t want--plus, you,ve probably earned some good will from both Alex and Chris. What a difference!

Whether you are saying no to a collaborator asking you to do something, or saying no to a potential client that you really don't want to have, the ability to say no gracefully is a key skill when you are in business as a solo entrepreneur. Here are four quick steps to learning this skill:

Understand the reasons you say "yes", even when you don't really want to. Here are some common reasons; which ones apply to you?
- You want to please people; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
- The customer is always right, you can't say no to the customer!
- It's not polite to say no; if you say no you feel you are being self-centered.
- You are flattered by the request.
- You feel like you need the business!
- You can't think of a nice way to say no fast enough.
- You think there might be other unforeseen negative consequences if you say no.
Recognize the good things that can come out of saying "no":
- You have more opportunities to say "yes" to the right customer.
- You have more time to do the things you *want* to do.
- Saying no expresses how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting others take responsibility for theirs.
- Someone else who really wants this customer's business, has a chance to get it
Learn how to say "no" gracefully:
- "No, I can't do that." Don't beat around the bush- put "no" right upfront.
- Use non-verbal cues to underscore the "no"-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye-contact.
- Add an explanation if you want, but don't apologize: "I have another commitment." - even if that commitment is to yourself!
- Be empathetic if the situation calls for it: "I know how hard it is to find a tax-preparer at this time of year."
- Recommend an alternative if one is available: "Let me refer you to..."
- If you're not sure, it's always OK to ask for more time to think it over!
Practice your new skill:
- Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role play with your business coach or a friend or colleague.
- Choose a low-risk situation first. Practice on your significant other, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that's easier for you: the salesclerk who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer calling at dinner.
- Work your way up to friendly clients. They are likely to appreciate the boundaries you are setting!
- When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn't paid and makes unreasonable demands-you'll know you've mastered saying "NO!" (Hint: refer them to someone else that is a better fit and help manage the transition!)

Saying "no" gives you freedom. It is a way of honoring both yourself and the person you are saying "no" to. Learn to do it well, and you will earn the respect of others--and yourself!

You: "Well, I don't think I'd have enough time to prepare. I'm awfully sorry. I wish I could help you!."

Chris: "Your last speech was super'maybe you could just talk some more about that topic? I,d really appreciate it!" You: "I'm glad you liked it--maybe I could do it"

Chris: "Oh that would be great! Just let me know the title"

How might you feel about doing this speech? You might feel stressed or resentful. You might not be at your best when you do the speech. Other work that you'd really like to be doing might suffer.

Now imagine a different response:

You: "No, I can't be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone." Alex speaks on a variety of topics and I think she could fill in for you. I'll give you her number."

Chris: "Thanks! That will really help."

Understand the reasons you say "yes", even when you don't really want to. Here are some common reasons; which ones apply to you?
- You want to please people; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
- The customer is always right, you can't say no to the customer!
- It's not polite to say no; if you say no you feel you are being self-centered.
- You are flattered by the request.
- You feel like you need the business!
- You can't think of a nice way to say no fast enough.
- You think there might be other unforeseen negative consequences if you say no.
Recognize the good things that can come out of saying "no":
- You have more opportunities to say "yes" to the right customer.
- You have more time to do the things you *want* to do.
- Saying no expresses how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting others take responsibility for theirs.
- Someone else who really wants this customer's business, has a chance to get it
Learn how to say "no" gracefully:
- "No, I can't do that." Don't beat around the bush- put "no" right upfront.
- Use non-verbal cues to underscore the "no"-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye-contact.
- Add an explanation if you want, but don't apologize: "I have another commitment." - even if that commitment is to yourself!
- Be empathetic if the situation calls for it: "I know how hard it is to find a tax-preparer at this time of year."
- Recommend an alternative if one is available: "Let me refer you to..."
- If you're not sure, it's always OK to ask for more time to think it over!
Practice your new skill:
- Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role play with your business coach or a friend or colleague.
- Choose a low-risk situation first. Practice on your significant other, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that's easier for you: the salesclerk who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer calling at dinner.
- Work your way up to friendly clients. They are likely to appreciate the boundaries you are setting!
- When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn't paid and makes unreasonable demands-you'll know you've mastered saying "NO!" (Hint: refer them to someone else that is a better fit and help manage the transition!)

Saying "no" gives you freedom. It is a way of honoring both yourself and the person you are saying "no" to. Learn to do it well, and you will earn the respect of others--and yourself!

www,solo-e.com Home/Blog > Solo Entrepreneur Articles > Mindset & Personal Development Articles > Interpersonal Skills Articles > Saying "No" Gracefully to Customers and Colleagues

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We all have to say, no every now and again.

Anybody who works in any sort of customer service job knows how difficult it can be to tell a customer no, especially when a customer may be making unreasonable demands or is just downright angry to begin with. What many people may not realize, however, is that you can keep the customer happy and tell them no at the same time. The challenge in this, of course, is knowing just exactly how to say no in a way that keeps your organization protected and keeps the customer happy at the same time. Here are some ways of keeping this all important balance in just about any workplace.

Explain the reason why you have to say no.

For many people, sometimes just explaining the reason why you have to decline their request is enough to turn a bad situation into a positive one. There could be policies in place and regulations to follow where non-compliance could lead to substantial financial losses, however this is where learning how to explain the "why" without getting too detailed is critical. If you are new to customer service, perhaps observe a trusted mentor or more experienced employee and see how they handle explaining why they cannot comply with the customer's request.

Here's an example of how explaining the reasoning behind declining a request can be critical to organizational success and good customer service that has been taken from my own experience. Several years ago I worked for a small amusement park as an admissions cashier. Park policy was that guests were charged admission fees based on their height, not by age (with the exception of senior customers) as there were many rides at the park that had height restrictions and it did not make sense to charge a higher admission fee for guests who weren't tall enough to go on some rides for safety reasons. Every now and again we would have guests visit the park who would bring children who were not quite tall enough to ride all of the rides at the park, and as such said children were charged the lesser of the admission fees. On occasion, some of these guests would argue with the admission cashiers on how their child was just measured at the doctor's office and that measurement indicated the child was tall enough to ride all of the rides, however what they did not realize was each ride also had an attendant who would measure smaller riders to ensure they were of the proper height to safely ride. Citing safety regulations, I would explain that I would have to charge the smaller guest the reduced rate, however the guest was free to have the child measured at each ride by the attendant with the measuring stick as well. Most of the time this would appease the guest as they would get the discount rate and the smaller guest may have still been able to ride many of the popular adult rides as well.

Be consistent.

Whenever I think of consistency, I think of this saying:

"If you give them an inch, they will take a mile."

Being consistent when saying no doesn't mean you can't use your discretion and you can't be flexible when helping your customers, rather this means that if you have a policy set in place, you should follow it and only deviate on rare occasions when the situation warrants.

As a personal rule, if a customer is polite and honest, I will go out of my way to help them as best as I can. If the customer is rude and demanding then I will stay within policy. Here's another example of this concept from my amusement park career:

On one dreary pre-season Saturday a guest brings three small children to the amusement park for the day. Two of the children are under the height restriction however the third was a few inches over. The guest was already frazzled but was very polite, and as such I opted to charge the reduced rate to the three children since I wasn't able to offer her any reduced rate on her own ticket. This made her day much more enjoyable, and as an added bonus she even got free tickets for a return visit when the park closed early that day due to low attendance.
On another occasion, I was sharing a booth with another cashier on a day when discounts were being offered for residents of specific towns. To get the discount, however, everybody had to brink some sort of proof that they actually did live in that town. For adults, that usually meant a drivers license or a utility bill, and for kids that was typically a student ID or a report card. On this day my co-worker got a younger guest who came to her window and asked for several tickets at the discounted rate. My co-worker explained the policy of how everybody in the group had to present ID, so this girl bought just one ticket for herself and went back to her group. A short while later the girl's mother came to my co-worker's window and started to yell at her for refusing to sell her daughter the number of tickets she asked for. To make a long story short, the rest of the group was from out of state and were actually not entitled to the discount anyway.

Pro tip for customers: you win more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Give the customer realistic options.

This takes a bit of experience in your particular organization as you have to know what options are available to offer customers. Looking back on my time in banking, one complaint I often remember hearing had to do with internet banking accounts for certain customers being deactivated due to inactivity. Whenever this happened, the first option I typically gave customers was to use their electronic statement e-mail as an e-mail reminder that they had to go and sign in to their internet banking account. This often proved to be a simple, yet effective ways of solving a very common and frustrating problem.

Be firm but polite.

This is perhaps the most challenging aspect of saying no, especially when a very irate customers is standing in front of you. For some, calming these customers just comes naturally, but for the rest of us this takes a lot of self restraint and focus. This is one of those situations where listening and showing empathy can be a powerful tool. Often times it seems as though customers get mad because the person waiting on them only knows how to talk from a script and doesn't know how to relate in a human to human manner (often times this seems to stem from companies seeking to standardize customer service). Interjecting a bit of personal experience can make all the difference in helping a customer go from angry to happy.

When all else fails...

Basic business knowledge typically suggests that it is much easier to keep an existing customer than to attract a new one, and in today's highly competitive market businesses usually go out of their way to keep their customers on the books for as long as possible. With that being said, however, there may be times where it may be prudent to risk losing a customer for the sake of keeping the business secure and to avoid costly fines and lawsuits. Typically I tend to suggest referring to a manager or more experienced co-worker when having difficulty helping to a customer as often they are better trained and more experienced in handling difficult situations. If the customer becomes a risk to security and safety of the company and the staff, then let the customer go. The money you spend to attract a new customer after you let the risky one go will most likely be much less than what you might have to pay should somebody file a lawsuit against your company!

reference-hubpages.com

Six steps to saying No without feeling guilty

Have you ever promised yourself this is the last time you’ll agree to something you really don’t want to do and then before you know it you find your mouth agreeing while your stomach is screaming NO? Sound familiar?

Time and again I hear from clients at my live events, especially the women, that they struggle to say No because they feel guilty. I’m telling you to Stop It. Right now. There is no need for guilt. Boundaries are essential to live the life you create for yourself.

Now, we have to be clear here – there’s a difference between saying No when it isn’t your job or responsibility and saying No when it is. One of them will get you fired. And if you consistently want to say No to things that really are your job, then you need a new job – but that’s a whole other issue. There are tons of Career Coaches out there who will help you figure out what to do and help you make the move.

I’m talking about those things that aren’t your responsibility and yet you can’t find the strength to say no and the resentment is starting to build. Or those personal things that just make you gnarly on the inside (why do we always have to go to her house? Why are the relatives coming again?) I’m also assuming that you are saying No because you really can’t help – not just because you’re being stubborn or are being particularly lazy.

So how exactly can you politely refuse a request?

Here are six steps to politely saying NO – pay particular attention to the last three:

Step 1: Identify why you find it hard to say No. Ask yourself what would happen if you said No. Now ask yourself what would happen then. Repeat the loop until you reach your most basic fear. For example – ‘If I say No he won’t like me and if that happens I might get fired and if that happens I might lose my house and if that happens I won’t have a safe environment for my family.’ Being aware of what you are fearful of allows you to handle your emotions much more easily.

Step 2: Explain why you can’t help. This should be a brief explanation. No more than about 2 sentences. Do NOT make it a long winded apologetic explanation. Please don’t. Pretty please. I really would let you if I could but I can’t. I’m so sorry. (See how pathetic apologetic sounds?) Remember, you’re not saying no to be difficult – you are saying no because you really can’t.

I can’t finish this report tonight because my other boss wants me to finish his report tonight.
I can’t babysit for your kids tomorrow afternoon because I have a tight deadline to meet in order to the move the business forward.
Next weekend doesn’t work for you to visit because we have a lot planned with our friends.

Short, sweet and to the point!

Step 3: Suggest alternative solutions. Although there are times when a blunt NO is the correct and appropriate response, in a work environment it may come across as rude or make you sound like you aren’t a good team player. And either of those impressions has the potential to kill relationships – which is not a good outcome if unintended. Instead, offer an alternative course of action, even if it’s not the perfect one.

I can make it my first job tomorrow morning, or do you want to talk to my other boss and decide between you which is the most important?
I can babysit on Thursday if that helps
Why don’t you visit the following weekend so that we can spend lots of time with you ?

Now, these are just my examples but you get the point.

Step 4: Use your ‘please pass the butter’ voice. We all know it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. I heard the ‘pass the butter’ technique from Meryl Runion in a book called PowerPhrases. Make sure your voice is emotionally neutral – the same type of voice you’d use to ask someone to ‘please pass the butter’. This has helped me. Especially with frustration – I find it very hard to keep that out of my voice (anyone relate?)

Step 5: Focus on what you are saying YES to. Do you have much spare time in your day? Thought not. If you are busy all waking hours and someone asks you to do an additional task then that equation just doesn’t work. We can’t create more minutes and hours in the day.

If you say yes to this new request then something else you have already committed to will have to go, or be done in a rush, or be delivered late or you’ll only have time to do a mediocre job (and I know none of you are aiming for mediocre).

It’s not just about the thing you are saying NO to, it’s also about those items already on your ‘to-do’ list or that are important to you, that you are saying YES to.

You are saying YES to more quality family time.
You are saying YES to prioritizing your business when appropriate.
You are saying a BIG FAT YES to keeping yourself balanced and grounded – be it time for a long walk, time for a soak in the bath or time for watching a sappy movie. Whatever, if it keeps you sane and centered it’s important.

Step 6: Most importantly – create who you want to be – not what others want you to be. And remember, particularly in your personal life, if they have a problem with you saying No then ultimately that’s their problem, not yours.

In the comments below I’d love to hear your tips for a guilt-free no. What works for you? And which step do you resonate with the most?

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Are you overscheduled and overstressed? With today’s busy schedules, you’re not alone. One way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying no to new commitments. Whether you say "yes" instead of no out of guilt, inner conflict, or a misguided notion that you can "do it all," learning to say no to more requests can be one of the biggest favors you can do yourself and those you love. It helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: Very little. And it will free up time for what's important!

Here's How:

Just say, “I’m sorry. I can't do this right now.” Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject. Most reasonable people will accept this as an answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude, and it’s OK to just repeat, “I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t fit with my schedule," and change the subject, or even walk away if you have to.
If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying "yes" to another commitment, do a cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no. Most importantly, this tactic helps you avoid letting yourself be pressured into overscheduling your life and taking on too much stress.
If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time (or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s fine to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.

Tips:

Be firm -- not defensive or overly apologetic -- and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.
If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, be matter-of-fact and not too promising. If you lead people to believe you’ll likely say "yes" later, they’ll be more disappointed with a later "no."
If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.
Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.
This article has more strategies for finding time if you're too busy.

reference-about.com/health/stressmanagement/

JOBRAWAT

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

HOW TO SAY "NO"